Let me first clarify I am a Beaver. A Bluefield High School Beaver that is. Yes, I momentarily went to Graham from grades K-3rd, but once sanity set in, I got back to the WV side of Bluefield. :-) (just kidding all my dear GHS friends).
Ok, some of my new friends have no idea about all the postings about Go Beaver, Beat Graham. Here's a quick summary. FOOTBALL, BABY. Home town, High School football rivalry. We're talking bonfires, car bashing, promitted vandalism (to the roadway and fences). Bluefield, West Virginia BEAVERS vs. Bluefield, Virginia G-MEN. Yeah, they are called the Graham G-Men. I don't get it either. Anywho ...
The kick off to high school football season begins with the Beaver/Graham game. Sadly I think the last game I actually attended was in 1992. 17 years later, it seems nostalgic that the rivalry and school spirit remains. There's a lot said for growing up in a small town. This is by far one of the best. Great memories today. I even pulled from the hanger my 1992 Senior t-shirt to wear. Abeit snug in places, but I wore it. Even had a photo taken and posted for my friends to see. That's spirit right there folks.
Lots of talk today about our 20th High School reunion coming up in a few years. I think it will be fun seeing everyone again. Maybe I'll drop some lbs so that too tight tee will be fit for public display.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
_____ is just a number
Happy Birthday to me. I am ____ years old. I don't look ____. I certainly don't act ____. I still listen to hip-hop and pop music. I don't know all the cool, funky, hip and happening slang, but I can figure out the meaning if used in a sentence (with decent grammar). ____ years has both flown by and stood still. I think I have achieved a lot in my ____ years. Education, work, home, marriage, family. I am happy being ____. I really don't mind the number, it just doesn't sound good. Makes me sound old and I'm not. I still do goofy things with my friends. We giggle and have sleepovers. I'm sure we'd do some prank calling if it weren't for that dumb caller-ID. I like doing all the same things I did at 25. I think the only difference now is I have some wisdom to accompany the youthfulness. So. Happy ____th Birthday to Me.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Marriage done right
Once again I am helping a dear friend mend or move on from a cheating spouse. This is the third of my dear friends to plummet from their husbands extra-marital indiscretions. Currently I am unsure of the outcome for the third marriage. The previous two ended in divorce. I can honestly say I was glad. I have my doubts about returning to marriage after infidelity. Maybe I haven't mastered forgiveness. It makes me stop to look at my own marriage. Joe and I have been together 16 years (1994) and married 14 (2009). We have been married longer than any of our friends. We've watched our friends marry, divorce, marry again and even divorce again over the years. But, here we are.
Don't get me wrong, we have our tiffs and arguments. I can count 3-4 doozies. None over really significant subjects (in a big scheme of things). Yes, I threw a kitchen chair about 40 feet and past his head, but I call that an "attention getter". Moving on.
I think Joe would agree our marriage has not only survived but flourished because of a few reasons. First, we never tried to change each other. Now, that doesn't mean I wouldn't LOVE for him to actually change his habit and USE the laundry hamper next to his pile of dirty clothes, but I mean we never tried to control the other or made demands of the other. We allowed ourselves to grow and change together. Accepting those changes and enjoying them.
Secondly, we never lost our individual selves in our marriage. I still don't like going to Nascar races. Joe goes twice a year with his friends. He has no interest in scrapbooking or disco dancing. That's cool. He goes to the races, I go on retreats with my friends (and dance when ever the mood hits). I like having my own time. I like giving him his own time, too.
Thirdly is TRUST. Yeah, I capitalized it. It's a biggie. We trust each other completely. Completely. There is no need for doubt. No reason for it. Joe used to go for week long trips to Las Vegas with some folks. It always happened around our Anniversary. Every year someone would ask me, "You LET him go to Vegas without you?" My answer was simple. YES. My follow up answer was more detailed. "I don't LET him go anywhere. He chooses where he goes and what he is going to do. We make each other aware and verify schedules, but there is no controlling." Nuf said.
I hate when I hear people say, "Marriage is work." I agree you have to work at being married, but it shouldn't be "hard work". If it's that hard it may not be worth it. As far as the infidelity, I don't know why these men cheat. They can use any excuse they want, but it comes down to them being selfish, weak and having no respect for themselves, wives or children. Joe and I have agreed that if either of us ever feels the urge to attract a relationship outside our marriage we will end our marriage first. Not that we anticipate that ever happening, but we have discussed it.
Sometimes I look back on getting married at 20 years old and thinking, "Whoa, we were just kids." Then I stop and think that we were young, but we weren't kids. We knew what we were doing. Obviously. We've done it right.
Don't get me wrong, we have our tiffs and arguments. I can count 3-4 doozies. None over really significant subjects (in a big scheme of things). Yes, I threw a kitchen chair about 40 feet and past his head, but I call that an "attention getter". Moving on.
I think Joe would agree our marriage has not only survived but flourished because of a few reasons. First, we never tried to change each other. Now, that doesn't mean I wouldn't LOVE for him to actually change his habit and USE the laundry hamper next to his pile of dirty clothes, but I mean we never tried to control the other or made demands of the other. We allowed ourselves to grow and change together. Accepting those changes and enjoying them.
Secondly, we never lost our individual selves in our marriage. I still don't like going to Nascar races. Joe goes twice a year with his friends. He has no interest in scrapbooking or disco dancing. That's cool. He goes to the races, I go on retreats with my friends (and dance when ever the mood hits). I like having my own time. I like giving him his own time, too.
Thirdly is TRUST. Yeah, I capitalized it. It's a biggie. We trust each other completely. Completely. There is no need for doubt. No reason for it. Joe used to go for week long trips to Las Vegas with some folks. It always happened around our Anniversary. Every year someone would ask me, "You LET him go to Vegas without you?" My answer was simple. YES. My follow up answer was more detailed. "I don't LET him go anywhere. He chooses where he goes and what he is going to do. We make each other aware and verify schedules, but there is no controlling." Nuf said.
I hate when I hear people say, "Marriage is work." I agree you have to work at being married, but it shouldn't be "hard work". If it's that hard it may not be worth it. As far as the infidelity, I don't know why these men cheat. They can use any excuse they want, but it comes down to them being selfish, weak and having no respect for themselves, wives or children. Joe and I have agreed that if either of us ever feels the urge to attract a relationship outside our marriage we will end our marriage first. Not that we anticipate that ever happening, but we have discussed it.
Sometimes I look back on getting married at 20 years old and thinking, "Whoa, we were just kids." Then I stop and think that we were young, but we weren't kids. We knew what we were doing. Obviously. We've done it right.
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